sick & tired of being sick & tired

This drama seems to have no end, In starting when I moved to Bangalore 24 august 2003 I thought I will overcome and will be doing fine, Though I was havig lil asthma problem and this town is hell for asthma patients...not only because of pollution, that you will get in any Indian towns apart from smaller ones but because of too much greenery and gardens here you tend to get pollens in the air almost all the time, thus making living hell for serious asthma patients.
Anyways, I did overcome that fear as I tried hard maintaing myself and yes I did well and did overcome that asthma stuff, But this town is like a real living hell, not only crowd(7.5 million people in this small area) but I have serious doubt whether I would be able to cope up with this sick whether, Its being 3 days now I am gettin wet daily and indeed most of the time more than one. It will rain every now and than and moreover, I don't remember when did I saw good sunlight last, I belong to the place where it use to rain least in country, And Once upon a time I really use to love the rains, But not anymore...how can one, I am sick of being sick & tired here.
And well this is only physical abuse, here is long list of mental too:
--> Roads are always choaked, Yes even in 11pm or midnite.
--> Traffic police will disturb you always.
--> High level of pollution.
--> No matter where you go, stay in queue, so what you going to pay high bill in rest. still before eating wait in queue.
--> High medical cost, yes though city is made to make u sick
--> 100 other reasons...

Well this all surely going to make you think it a voice of someone who is badly depressed in life, Though not really, But I guess sometimes I associate all the problems I have to one single source, But ain't this is right thing to do when you think your sorrounded by problems? If not than what is the right approach? Surely you can't hit all of them together than why not to take them one by one, Anyways I guess it is good to have problems else What a wonderful world it would be. How can we be sure that we will get where we dream to be? Why is it that until this very moment, I have always assumed that I would grow up, be successful at something I love to do, fall madly in love, live behind that white picket fence? You know what I'm talking about. When did my little voice in my head decide to turn pessimistic? I've always tried to look on the bright side, or I tell my self that I have. Maybe all along I have been fooling myself and don't really know who I am and maybe I try to hard to see what other people see. Thats a weird thought. What if you could see yourself the way that other people see you? It kind of sounds like one of those "be careful what you wish for" questions, but I hardly think it is unreasonable to view yourself from a different angle. But how accurate would that angle measure? Isn't it safe to assume that if we took an outside angle on our public view, we already infact actually know too much about ourselves to make objective observations? That brings me to my point. (Yes there is a point.) If we could take a step outside of ourselves and become a stranger to ourselves, how would we respond to the original form of ourselves? Stay tuned.